Surgery Day 10/29/25

 Surgery day always makes me want to turn around and run the other way. No matter how many times we’ve done this, it never gets easier. I always find myself fighting that quiet voice that whispers this is my fault.

It breaks my heart to see Peanut in pain, to know that I have to hand him over and trust that he’ll be okay. I place him in the anesthesiologist’s arms, give one last kiss, and whisper a prayer that he feels safe, even when I can’t be with him.

Then comes the waiting room, a room full of emotional parents, each one silently praying for a quick but safe surgery. You can feel the tension, the fear, the hope all tangled together. One by one, families get called back, reunited with their little ones, and the room grows emptier.

Each time another parent walks out with relief on their face, I’m happy for them, but I also feel that sting in my chest. I want it to be my turn. I just want to see my baby.

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